To start believing you can have the life you want, you must dig deep to discover what that will look like for you. You must understand what makes you unique, and celebrate those things. When you begin living true to your identity and core values, you will start believing in your worth, your abilities, and your human potential. Do you often cater to others at the expense of your own values? When you feel this internal conflict happening, work on addressing it.
They can play a more limited role in your life. Being authentic feels like a big risk, and you might be afraid of criticism.
Remember that your experience of life is about you, and their experience of life is about them. Doing things that scare you will solidify the confidence you need to be your truest self. It sounds counter-intuitive, but being vulnerable — accepting your fear and not hiding it — is the surest path to building strength.
Make time for adventures that are completely out of your normal routine. It could be jumping out of a plane, taking a fitness class, or picking up a paintbrush.
Pick something that seems fun but scares you at least a little bit and jump in. You can learn so much about yourself from these activities that you should engage in them regularly. Add variety and do new things often. Your belief is the single most powerful tool you have. You can completely change your life just by changing your beliefs. To start believing in yourself, you have to stop believing you are stuck with the skills and abilities you have right now.
Instead, start believing you can change. This way of thinking is called a growth mindset. It means that you believe change is possible. But if you believe you can improve, develop, and learn, then you will get there — even when nothing goes right. Deeply believing that you and your life can change for the better is the driving force behind all of your efforts.
You will then be more willing, and even excited, to put in the work required to make those changes. There is no greater confidence booster than seeing the results of your work. In her TED Talk, Meg Jay tells young people to forget about their identity crisis and start building identity capital. Building identity capital means doing things that add value to who you are.
There is nothing stopping you. To make real change in your life you have to get uncomfortable. You have to step out of your cozy box and do things differently. This means making a greater effort and even feeling a bit weird doing things that are out of the ordinary. You have this whole life to experiment with who you are. If you want a different life, make it yourself. In life we often find that others have more faith and belief in us than we do in ourselves.
While this is sad, there are a number of reasons for it, from low self-esteem, to experience, to simple disbelief. It is interesting that others are able to see in us, what we deny in ourselves, or that we refute what they tell us when they do.
We cannot believe that they are authentic, or think they are somehow mistaken if they believe in us, when we struggle to believe in ourselves.
If this is how we are feeling about ourselves, we are not in the best frame of mind to move forward with our lives in all areas that matter.
So why is it that others are able to believe in us, when we struggle to do this ourselves? The reasons are many. While many do not want to think that their past impacts their future, it can when it comes to self-esteem. We do not want to believe that there are parents or partners that do anything but build people up, but this is not nearly always the case.
There are many people who grew up hearing negative messages about themselves, their performance and their abilities. These people are also more likely than others to go on to be involved in relationships where the person they are with repeat this pattern. We attract how we feel about ourselves, so if we feel poorly we choose poorly. When we feel poorly, we are more likely to believe the negative messages, and these become ingrained even more about how we feel about ourselves.
The people who have belief in us not only came from a background, and relationship where they were revered for their own successes, but they have achieved professional success as well.
They see the diamond in the rough that you are, and they believe in the importance of telling people when they have done something well. They may even be emotionally savvy enough to know that you need the positive reinforcement for a job well done. They know what it means to them when someone tells them that they have done well, and they believe in paying it forward when someone else has done a good job as well.
They have nothing but the best of intentions in what they are saying and doing, and they genuinely mean what they say. We have to remember as Christians that our culture is looking for solutions outside of Christ , outside of God, outside of His Word. By and large, our culture does not want to acknowledge God, the Bible, or Jesus, so it is looking for answers outside of that. What our culture comes up with is a very interesting and very confusing combination of truth and error.
They are looking for truth and finding pieces of it, but they don't want God's way of doing things to always be part of the answer, so the result is a mess of partial truths, riddled with errors. The biggest error is trying to find the solution without having God, our Creator and Father, being part of that answer. Today, we're going to talk about this topic of self-reliance.
As we go through, remember we are not rejecting out of hand everything that our society says. Some of what they say is good, but some of it is off because they're ignoring God. We're going to be trying to find that nuance- where is the truth, but what are they missing and how should we be viewing these same topics, as Christians.
We should be thinking about and viewing these same things through a different lens. When we bring God into the equation, it changes things. That's what we're trying to do. Self-reliance and growth mindset are super popular right now, and for good reason. There are lots of issues that they help address. We are told to believe in yourself, love yourself, create your best life, believe you can, or just, you can do it.
But there is one issue with all of this. It's heavily self-reliant, and, in most cases, it ignores God. Rachel Hollis is a wonderful example of this thinking.
Here is just one of her many quotes I could have pulled: "You, and only you, are ultimately responsible for who you become and how happy you are. We are responsible for ourselves. Now, if you are a non-believer, I suppose this is about as good of advice as you can get. If you're a non-believer, what you really need is God , but if you don't want to acknowledge God, then all we are left with is ourselves.
That's all we have. I just have me; I am the only one I can count on. But ultimately it does not fulfill us, it just doesn't. The goal is good in trying to encourage people to stop staying stuck in failure and frustration and to instead make better choices by believing what's possible. But when that belief is founded on ourselves, it's pretty shallow and it's not ultimately going to fulfill us. It's going to come crashing down at some point.
Think about it- we know ourselves and just how messed up we are. If myself is all I have to rely on, to be honest, that is not going to work out very well. That can work for a time, but it almost always inevitably comes crashing down at some point because it's not a sure foundation. By the way, even if it worked, there's a big problem. It puffs you up with pride and helps you think that you don't need God, when God is the ultimate thing that we need the most.
It can be counterproductive because when we're trusting in ourselves, we're typically not relying on God , which ultimately leaves us empty because we are created with a need for God. We were created for a relationship with God, that is our soul's deepest need. When we fill up our needs with other things, including self-reliance, we're missing what we truly need most.
How should we, as Christians, be thinking? Do I just believe I can't do it? All of our insecurities, frustrations, and fears have their answer in Christ. Our confidence doesn't come from telling ourselves, "I'm amazing, I can do it," and affirming ourselves.
It instead comes from our firm belief, which is not made up or propped up, that God is amazing and that God can do anything.
We go back to our firm belief that Christ has promised to be enough, that He will work in us and through us, and that His strength is enough to carry us through our weaknesses.
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